My thoughts this week have been on the Torah Portion, Kedoshim, Holiness. I have realized this week that Holiness is lacking because most people are not truly grounded in themselves. We chase after others thinking they have something we need/lack. We chase after others thinking that they “have it all together”. We chase after others and make ourselves into something we are not and then never believe they truly accept us. This happens in dating, marriage, friendship, etc.
There are others who don’t chase after others or so they think. Yet, as a friend of mine says, we are all trying to sign people. The people who don’t chase after others usually think that they are not worthy and/or the others are not worthy. They also don’t accept their true selves and therefore never feel truly accepted.
I have realized this week that, at times, I am guilty of this same error. I have a fear that if others don’t like me and/or I don’t do what others want, Beit T’Shuvah, my organization, will suffer. At times, this has caused me great angst. I also realized the solution, this week.
I need to be strong in who I am. I need to make sure the people I let in, “go after” are worthy of being with me and, of course, vice versa. I BELONG TO A CLUB! I am using the word club to mean that I have a place and this place is good, needs others to populate it so it can grow and I am a leader/follower of this club. I don’t need to join the club of another, I need to have union, merge and have relationships with others who are secure in themselves.
My new commitment is to stay firm in myself, continue to grow, not try to be everything to everyone and not compromise myself and my principles to belong. Rather, I invite people who want to be loyal to principles to join, merge, have a relationship and union with my club.
Related articles
- Our Very Own Beit T’Shuvah Brand of Torah (beittshuvah.wordpress.com)
- Rabbi Joshua Levine Grater: ‘We Are All God Carriers’: The Universal Wisdom of Archbishop Desmond Tutu (huffingtonpost.com)
Great words “continue to grow, not try to be everything to everyone and not compromise myself and my principles to belong” as a working musician and minister this is something that I must stay focused on.
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I believe GOD took me through the wilderness and brought me to his holiness for a purpose. I just cant find what that purpose is and find myself fighting the darkness rather than enjoying the LIGHT of this journey.